THE VALUE OF ABSTINENCE

DO YOU KNOW WHAT PREMATURE SEX DOES TO YOU?

I never knew what level immorality has reached till this day that I asked a friend of mine who lives with her boyfriend in campus, “what will you do if he leaves you? I know you’ll actually find someone else, but what if he asks if you’re a virgin, what will you tell him?” She looked at me, laughed and said, “If any man asks me that, I will give him the most ragious look he has ever met, slap him and ask, ‘what kind of question is that?’ In fact, that’s what I should have asked you.” I’m pretty sure your response won’t be in much contrast with hers.

There are several immoral practices that youths involve themselves in today, but the worst, which youths never realize, is sexual immorality. This is not about homo-sexuality, lesbianism, incest, or bestiality, because those who practice these, to me, are not rational people. This is about fornication, misuse of sex by rational people, who know exactly what they’re doing. Today in our campuses, it is not strange to sleep with a girl or boy whose name you don’t even know, is it? Perhaps, it is difficult to realize the problem with having sex before marriage, or the importance of abstinence. Many people have always discouraged sex among the unmarried with the claim that it exposes them to the risk of being infected with HIV/AIDS. But then, condoms are a remedy to that. Despite the fact that condoms are not a sure protection from infection, they have contributed to increased abuse of sex.  

Infection by HIV is no longer a dread to the youths; it is like any other infection. HIV/AIDS is no longer an angle to take when defending the dignity of sexual morality. I will show you why you need to abstain from sex.

The main reason why sexual immorality is dominant is because youths don’t realize the importance of virginity and sexual purity. It is not our fault. I have never seen anyone teaching girls why it is important to stay virgin till marriage, neither have I seen someone explaining to boys the importance of staying spotless of sexual immorality. All they will always say is, “If you can’t abstain, be faithful, if you can’t, use condom.” This is no longer helpful to the youth, because AIDS is no longer the threat. They need to know why premature sex is dangerous.

Is Virginity Still Important?

In the past, virginity was the most precious treasure girls had. It was guarded jealously. Girls protected their virginity with their own lives, so did their parents and brothers. It was so expensive to lose that a girl would chose to die than pay the price of losing it. By this, boys too were kept sexually pure, since there has never been any possible test for a boy’s virginity, as opposed to girls. Is this still the case today? What has changed? It is clear that westernization, modernization and technological development have greatly affected the African ways and culture. There are several positive implications of this to African countries, but it’d have been better if it never took away our morals, parental guidance and elderly counsel. Perhaps, we could excuse elderly counsel because the youths believe they’re too modern to listen to counsel from old people who are analogue and outdated.

The question is, does the fact that virginity is no longer tested during marriages mean it has lost value and importance? The answer is NO. Virginity is still as important as life itself. Taking it away is equivalent to taking one’s life. When virginity is lost, especially for ladies, a lot is lost, too much worth regretting for a lifetime. This is why from one’s dressing, reasoning, behavior, conduct, speech and seriousness in life, it is very easy to distinguish if he/she is abstaining or enslaved by sexual immorality. We need to realize that virginity is important to boys just as it is to girls. No one is an exemption to sexual purity, for it is only if boys stay pure that girls can stay pure, and vice versa. The point is, however much it sounds old and barbaric, virginity was, is and still will be important.

Why is Virginity Important?

The importance of virginity explains why we should abstain and leave sex for the married, and the silent remedies of losing virginity in the modern world. The Bible says that all sins are against the spirit, but the sin of fornication is against one’s own body (1 Cor 6:18). This means engaging in sex before marriage is injustice to your own body, not even to God. It subjects your body to bondage of sexual immorality, tortures your body and makes you feel like it is abnormal to abstain and you can’t do without it. Losing your virginity, especially for a lady, takes away the girl in you and replaces it with a slut you’d never like to be in your normal senses. It takes away your rationality and reasoning. Hence you feel like walking nude, since no part of you is private and of value. The bitter truth is, once virginity is lost, then unless you admit that you were so foolish to give it away and forgive yourself, you will never live a real life again.

It is also recorded in the Bible that when two are joined together, they become one flesh (1 Cor 6:16). The joining is no other. How many should you be joined with in life? Becoming one flesh means getting married and living together for life. God made sex to be a union for the married. Have you ever wondered why so many marriages today struggle with instability due to unfaithfulness? This was not the case in the past. Ask any old person if husbands cheated on their wives in the past, the answer is always no. What has changed then? It is the role of sex. Sex was created to be solemn, sacred, a gift for marriage and for procreation. This however has changed, people now view sex as for pleasure, for earning and for obtaining favors. How can marriages stay stable when the very sacred tool and gift of marriage has such a misplaced chance in the society?

What the youths don’t realize is that fornication is one thing that steals the stability of their future marriages. When you’re here sleeping around with every girl you come across, then if you’re planning to be in a marriage in future, then expect no miracle, your future wife is also somewhere doing the very same thing. It is God who gives wives and husbands, and He is just and fair, He gives everyone what he/she deserves and what He deems best. Tell me, will such a slut and goon have a stable marriage? If you didn’t know, this is one and the worst effect of premature sex. Your choice shapes your future family.

What next if I had messed up?

If you had given away your virginity or engaged in premature sex, you are not doomed. You still stand a chance to rectify everything, though virginity, like spilt milk and time, cannot be restored once lost. One verse that really encourages me in the Bible is 1John 1:9, which says “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” God is ready to forgive you and restore your righteousness, he’s just waiting for you to forgive yourself and confess your sins.

Make a move! Make a change!

You and I are the change that this generation needs. Change begins with us. Let us restore the morals

in our society. Let us restore the reality of life. Make a move, abstain from sex and save your future children, save your future family, save the future generation. Don’t let your body control you, you have the power to control it. Make that choice now, make the move, and let the change occur.

Share this message as much as you can, help restore the morals in the society.

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