WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MARRIAGE?
Is it adread, a delight, a duty, or all in one?
Marriage is something that I do not rest
without thinking about. Well, maybe I am contemplating marriage. I know, as we
all do, that someday, I will be someone’s husband; a father to someone. The
question I keep asking myself, will it work?
It is not by chance that I keep worrying about
things in the future that I don’t even know of. I am only wondering, ‘there are
so many whose marriages didn’t work; so much more than those whose marriages
worked, or work, what difference is there?’ And some of these marriages have
touched me in ways you cannot fathom. What can I do differently?
Can you imagine vowing to love someone forever?
And not just forever, in sickness and in health; in good times and in bad; in
happiness and in sadness. So, even if they change, and they always do, we all
do, your love must never change.
Humans can be annoying at times, you know. It’s
not easy loving my sister, with whom I was born on the same day, how hard would
it be to love a stranger I probably just met in my mid or early 20’s? And not
that loving is hard, it’s not. It’s just hard not to attach conditions to it.
As sinful humans, we are accustomed to selfishness; thus, we are prone to
invest our emotions and feelings in people, if we really believe there’s
something in it for us.
I’ve come to think about it. While most say
that you shouldn’t look for beauty in a woman, we all agree that you can’t
really be with someone you’re not attracted to, although the attraction can
fade after some time. Think about it. As a young man, I am so impressed by a
woman’s beauty that I hardly focus on her character and mental ability. But
what happens when I am years into the marriage and it finally dawns on me that
the body that so much impressed me is nothing but flesh and blood, just like
mine? Is that when I begin to feel I should have known better? Is that when I
begin to strain to love the same person I never imagined I would let go of for
a moment? Or is that the moment I begin to feel I deserve better?
In truth, it is easier to say ‘I love you’ than
to actually show it. That’s just the nature of life. The Hillsong United sang,
‘God only knows why love is worth the fall, maybe that what makes it love;
Good only knows why love is drenched with tears, maybe that’s what makes it
love’. Who knows? Maybe it was God’s intention for love to be a struggle.
Well, everything in this wretched world is, why should love be an exemption
anyway?
As for me, marriage is a delight and a duty,
but it’s not a dread, it shouldn’t be. And when I say it’s a delight, I am not
speaking out of the sexual excitement that has been imposed upon my youth by
the inevitable ruin in the society we live in, because I know, in the end,
sexual appeal or satisfaction will not matter, for marriage is far beyond just sex.
I am not saying I will be the best of husbands
or fathers, for I know each day will be a struggle, as it is now. It’s just the
nature of the world. But I am praying to God that he may give me contentment
that I may not cheat on my future wife and a sense of responsibility that I may
not neglect my children, and most importantly, a faithful heart that we may raise
our children uprightly to be a faithful generation.
Think upon these lines in Warren Barfield’s
song ‘Love is Not a Fight’
‘Love is not a
place, to come and go as we please
It’s a house we
enter in, then commit to never leave
So, lock the door
behind you, throw away the keys
Let it bring us to
our knees.’
I know you’re probably not married yet, so am I. That’s why I wrote this. Just so you know, that, even as you contemplate marriage, you should be aware that God hates divorce, and so, once married, ‘You never leave your partner, especially in a fire.’ Let it bring us to our knees. My prayer is that God may revive this entire generation by giving us marriages that will stand the test of time. May God give you just that. Amen!
